Ancient Worlds Hetalia: Go Forth!
by Kitayume
Summary: The Ancient Countries/City-States/Territories/etc of the World, predeceasors of the Modern World, gather at the Curia Julia in Ancient Rome for a World Senate. Hilarity, chaos, romance, and lots and lots of humour insue. Ratings may change.


Ancient Worlds - Sam Hamilton

The Forum in Ancient Rome was filled with many stalls filled with various goodies and knick-knacks that any normal-minded person would ask for. Along the walls of square buildings were baskets filled to the brim with olives, grapes, and bread that smelled fresh from the oven. The ambience was loud and filled with the chatter of men discussing politics, women chatting casually with one another, traders auctioning off slaves, and servants bartering with shopkeepers over their wares. It was around 3 PM and the Forum was at its busiest. Everything was going along nicely, until some idiot decided to spice things up and drive over a bunch of Romans with a chariot.

Yep. That man was the physical embodiment of Ancient Carthage. He's a loud man who smells like pork and garlic. He likes to yell a lot, and he drives around in a golden chariot while wailing for blood like a baby boar.

The Romans watched in horror as he made flapjacks out of a slave trader and some poor old old dear doing her grocery shopping. Carthage whipped his two white ponies and sped off in the direction of the Curia Julia (Senate Meeting Place), screaming like a elk being tortured while he ran over another person.

The Romans let out a sigh of relief after the brutally hairy man had left. Three urban cohorts had just begun to peel off the pancake people before being run over by a second chariot. The Romans jumped into various pots and baskets, hiding in terror as Sparta charged through, trampling the urban cohorts while the horses tore through various stalls, wrecking them with the finesse of a rabid howler monkey riding a doberman pinscher under influence.

Sparta rode into the Curia Julia, arriving moments after Carthage had managed to do so. The World Senate had gathered to solve all the Ancient World's problems. In on either sides of the rooms, various nations sat on long benches, wearing togas and chattering to their friends, arguing with their rivals, and doing whatever else floated their boat on that particular day.

Sparta hopped out of her chariot and sauntered over to Roman Empire, who was just about to begin the World Senate. She handed him her war helmet and her horse whip. "I want my horses watered and fed with top-quality oats." She said.

"What do I look-a like? I'm not a valet parker." Roman Empire said, tossing the whip and helmet aside.

"You aren't? I can't see the difference." Sparta said flatly.

Germania cleared his throat. "I believe there are more important things to attend to." He said, glaring at Roman Empire.

Roman Empire nodded and pulled out what looked like a half-mile long scroll. "We are-a gathered here today to solve-a all the world's problems by a-talking excessively. Don't worry, anything we don't get done can be a-covered up by enough interviews and photo-ops. So, I'd like to begin-a by addressing the fact that I saw a really hot girl the other-"

"Shut up Rome! All you talk about is girls." Pompeii said, his arms crossed in annoyance.

"Yes! Talk about something more interesting, like we whipped your ass a few years back." Cisalpine Gaul and Transalpine Gaul said in unison.

"Rome wears that SPQR cape because you destroyed his ass?" Argos said, frowning.

"Yup! Cis took one asscheek, I took the other." Transalpine Gaul said proudly. "We had them mounted on a plaque in our-"

"Can we switch the subject?!" Rome said hastily.

"Get back on track." Persian Empire said flatly.

"Persia, please look away. Your face is upsetting my digestion." Athens said, frowning with distaste.

"Your face is worse." The Persian man sneered.

"PELOPENESSIAN WAR!" Sparta said loudly.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" Persian Empire.

"How about we all just take time to love one another?" A blonde haired man said.

"NO ONE LOVES YOU THEBES!" Sparta and Persian Empire said in unison.

"Rood." Thebes said, flipping his long golden locks in irritation.

"Stop bullying me!" Persian Empire said angrily.

"Bully?! You're the one who heartlessly mowed down the 300." Sparta said sourly.

"You refused to surrender!" Persian Empire spat.

"THAT'S MY PERSONALITY!" Sparta yelled.


End file.
